2.

Waktu aku menghabiskan sisa sisa masa semalam aku tergerak hati membuka belog tulisan gadis yang (gila babi) aku suka baca.As expected.Dia review zine yang aku join sekali untuk menulis.And as expected again aku tahu dia akan frust gila babi dengan zine tu.To be frank,aku pun rasa macamtu bila kepingan zine tu sampai dekat tangan aku sendiri.Tapi aku malas bersuara sebab aku taknak depa depa yang lain tu akan straight benci aku and akan rasa down dan terus tak mahu menulis.

Benda sampai dekat buah dada,perut,puki, tapi tak sampai kepala.

6/6/12

3 years and counting,Happy birthday my brotha!

:')

Brotherhood.

Anak Bongsu Forever.

5 years and still counting :')

Arjuna Lama.

Arjuna Lama,Kawan Baikku--

dua belas bulan dahulu,

takkanku biarkan walau ribut menyentakmu yang tidur

datang petir menyambar--

takkan ku biarkan tanganmu terluka dikacau

jengking dan ular--

Walau jasadku luka hatiku kecewa--

Kau tetap teman hatiku,arjuna lama.

nyamanlah arjuna beta

mimpikan yang indah saja

nanti bila kau buka mata

semua tak serupa--

kan dulu ada satu ketika kau sakitseorang di tepijalan itu--

kan dulu aku hilangkan luka luka di jari jemarimu itu

jalan betul, arjuna lama,

tak nampak di mata kasar--

tapi sayang nya arjuna lama,

kita dicemburui masa yang ada-

sarat durinya.

hiduplah arjuna beta

biarkan jasad yang luka

selama tuhanmu ada

takkan engkau tercela.

ngeri rasa hati,

tiupan angin pantai dahulu masih bertiup untuk kita.

senyumlah arjuna lama,

kerana ada yang terluka kerana kamu,masih mampu tersenyum ingatkan mu arjuna beta.

Kisah dua malam.

Anna masih disitu.Berteleku.Semua yang dia dapat harini semuanya bullshit.High and Dry lontaran Thom Yorke sesekali dikuatkan.

"Why the fuck all this must happened to me?" Sesekali hatinya menjerit.Dia masih di dalam bilik.Merenung apa semua ini memang untuk dia yang berumur 22 tahun.Sesekali dia menyedut Dunhill nya yang masih berbaki.Segala pesanan ringkas dan incoming calls dia biarkan tanpa dijawab.Dia bosan dengan semua benda yang tidak pasti.Air matanya tidak pernah berhenti jatuh dari pipi.

"Kenapa kau nak pergi sana malam ni Anna,kau tahu aku tak suka!" pesanan ringkas dari Kid yang berbaur amarah.

"Kau tahu kenapa! This is all because of you!" Anna membalas dengan tangannya yang masih menggeletar.Dia tahu dia takkan boleh apa yang dah jadi.

"Aku datang jumpa kau esok Anna,kau pergi tempat tu malam ni,dont ever think you can meet me again,ingat ni!"

Anna diam.Dia malas bertelagah dengan Kid yang tak faham bahasa.Dia paksa matanya untuk pejam.Hujan yang turun bagai mengerti kesedihan yang dia simpan selama ini.

---------------------------------------

"Kau tahu aku sayang kau Anna,kenapa kau nak pergi tempat macamtu,kau tahu aku benci tempat tu,kau tahu hidup aku terumbang ambing,kau tahu apa yang kau dapat kalau kau pergi sana"

Kid merangkul Anna dalam dakapannya.Dia sayang Anna.Sayang sampai entah berapa kali air matanya dibazirkan untuk cinta hatinya.I will always love you Anna.Ingat ni.

"Aku kecewa dengan sikap kau.You treated me like a rubbish.Malam tu kau datang jumpa aku,kau diam,kau buat aku macam tak ada depan kau" Anna melepaskan semua yang dia rasa selama ni.

"Aku segan Anna,aku cuba nak dapatkan duit untuk belanja kau,setiap kali kita hang out kau yang belanja aku,aku buat macam macam selama ni sebab aku segan.Aku taknak jumpa kau selagi aku tak ada duit,Aku bukan sengaja nak ignore kau selama ni"

Anna diam.Dia tak sangka yang selama ni Kid sebaik ini.

"Sekarang kau nak pergi tempat tu lagi tak?" Kid bertanya sambil tersengih.

"Taknak la! Kau ingat aku biasa ke pergi situ? GILA!"

Mereka ketawa berdua.Ditemani sinaran mentari yang terbenam petang itu.

"Mari,malam ni kita lupakan segala problem okay?"

"Kau nak bawa aku kemana?"

"Kita lepak atas sana,we smoke weed together okay?Aku nak kau senyum"

"You still bitch as always kan sayang?Kau ingat cool benda ni?"

"HAHA aku nak kau gelak macam haritu Anna,you look stupid yet so cute and funny,kau tahu tak bila kau high kau mcm org paling kelakar depan aku,HAHA"

"Shut up! But with one condition"

"What condition?"

"HEHEHE" Anna senyum sengih paling dalam.

"Ah nak suruh aku dukung la tu,mengadanya kau ni"

"ALAA.." Anna masam mencuka.

"Yelah come sayang,we gonna get high today"

Mereka berjalan ke atas sana.But before they reach there,Anna tanya kepada Kid

"Kid will u still remember all the things about me even if we're not meant to be together?"

"Mestilah sayang.Ketiak kau pun aku suka cium"

"HAHAHAH STUPID AS ALWAYS,you never fail to make me laugh"

rest in peace.

//DRE

Still young.Still alive. :)

Drowning.

When you both two feels the same thing but you guys knew it wont work well.It wont happened unless the other die.It wont work.It kills other hearts.

Tell me about it.Its all about cruelty,mean,heartless,--the ugly truth.

Dan apa yang kau boleh buat,hanya lihat dan terus berjalan.

AO,

Who needs KJ when i got Chaa to make me smile everyday ;)

Trust me,shes my funniest gf i have ever had.

When i just woke up.

PadaMu aku mohon,

Jadikan aku perempuan yang lebih baik.

Tale of Lancau and Chill.

For the past week ago,my life was been so dramatic with the stupid mafakas,attention whore who in need of raping,egoistic people with fucking dumbass brain.But still,i can put a wide smile on my face cause my lovely family still with me,with the most helpful and understanding friends with me.I felt so bless cause i have them around,my abah and emak is far away from me,and i wont tell any of stupid story to my sisters that happened to me while i'm in this ghost town which is my college.They got other important matters to think rather than listening to my fucking weird stupid problem that actually had nothing to do with me.

This stupid fucking story started when my home which is ive been living with three stupid egoistic mafakas which is my junior,were running out of electric.We were on public holiday and theres no point to collecting money from all the penghuni in the house just to light up the house cause admin was close due to the public holiday.Thus,i decided to went out with my friends,had some window shopping and have some good foods at Serdang.While i was driving home those stupid mafakas texted me and claimed me why i didnt handing out the money to them.Dude,i'm assure that you're aware that we're on public holiday.Theres no one can help you and just for one fucking day,go get any shelter from your fucking friends.Cant you think using your fucking brain?Cant you?This stupid malay girl were actually been so rude to me for the past months but i dont want to give a fuck to them.Dude,can u imagine,we're in the same roof but this stupid malay girl,still wasting her fucking credit to text me and tell me what she need to tell.Like a plain stupid.Thats why i thought,,Theres no point to bashing up small matters.So our home were running out electric for two days,thank God for creating a human like Mimie and Naziha that could considering me and help me by getting me a room to sleep by.Thank you so much guys,we barely talk to each other but you guys are with me when i had a shitty day.

So i back to my home after two days,i found that my balcony's door been damaged by someone which i didnt know who.I assumed those two stupid Malays done this stupid thing,but still i dont give a shit.I went thru my days like i usually do,until i got this stupid weirdly pyscho tweet from this stupid attention whore that claimed me as a rude girl and i was the one who kurung my stupid housemate at the balcony and laughed at her when shes screaming for help.WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I wasnt at my home for two days,and ive been claimed for something that i didnt do.She tell the whole world about how cruel i was.Yes,bitch,thats it,.I had my limit but i tried to calm down.All stupid tweets that she tweeted,i kept safely in my desktop.I knew that i was guilty and all my friends knew that.There were too many unexplained things in my mind.Why the fuck she went back to our house while she knew that the house is running out electric?Why did she see me at a place that didnt existed?At the end of the day,she told me everything,she didnt see me,she just thought that i was there in my room.She safe now but still,i think her action was plainly stupid.And to the dumbass attention whore,GO GET FUCKING LIFE and FUCKING GROW UP my ex stupid housemate.

I decided to move out since the house seems so scary to live in.I go get my keys.I went to my room and packing up all things.Things were so hard for me.With the test and all quizzes and presentation that need i to face up,with all these stupid cases,with the stupid hypocrite ex boyfriend,with all thoughts for the future,with the fever that strikes me in these few days,i packing up all my things one by one,and i smoked for a while in the balcony and seeing thru out and see all those awan and langit,i feel so relieved.With all the shits that happened to me,i still got my supporting family and understanding friends.Yes,it have been three days so far,ive been living with Bunny that consider my situations,she picked up all my stuffs,sent me to my college,waiting for me till i got my class off.I feel like crying when i see how kind my friends are.I barely talk and lepak with Buny before this and i couldnt believe now i'm sleeping on her bed right now.People that barely with me are the one who helped me so much.And to my bro Fizzy,thank you everything,you are there with when i had my ups and downs.Million to you guys who care with me so much when i'm sick and to those who considering my situation and understand me so well..Thank you.Hugs and Kisses.


So,trust me,the stupid and shitty things that happened to you,happened for a reason.And the reason is to make you being fucking stronger person than anyone else.

to those whos been bitching out about me,suck it up fuckers! I'm still alive and you have no idea how stronger i am now.




So,i am rewarded myself after facing all these stupid things,to the JB me off tomorrow! Wohoo. I cant wait to have a fucking great weekend.

Oh did i told you that i dont give a damn if you think that my english is bad.IDGAF at all.Tenkiusomuch.

Maaf.

Maaf,drama kau terlalu cliche untuk aku.

Maaf,kata kata maaf kau terlalu overrated untuk aku.

Maaf,segala kata kata penyesalan yang keluar dari minda sempit kau terlalu sampah untuk aku.

Maaf,masa untuk berpaling dan tersenyum kembali kepada hamba tuhan seperti kau terlalu berat untuk aku.

Maaf,

simpan saja semua kata kata drama yang kau sudah plot sendiri untuk membutakan satu dunia termasuk aku.

Maaf,aku sudah senyum dan ketawa bukan lagi kerana kau.

Tapi kerana mereka mereka dan Tuhan yang satu :)

--- "Maaf,aku tak mahu kau lagi" 

*senyum nipis

Aku lebih berharap aku tidak pernah kenal kamu.

Dan aku mahu kau tahu itu.

Maaf mungkin ada untuk kamu,bila kau sudah berumah berpacakkan dua batu.

Menemui perempuan perempuan cantik di luar sana,

Being in relationship more than a year,the guy started to get bored,the girl started to worry and trying hardly to keep the relationship going.With tears and fake smile.While the guys simply letting it go and forget everything.While the girl totally in pain and keep asking--

why,why,and why.

Its like a law.
--Guys cepat boring,while Woman is the most loyal person in the relationship and always wanted to keep the relationship going.

For all pretty woman,heartbroken.

Cliche situation but it happened mostly to people that ive known.Its like been listening to your past problems--mirror.So,if you think you're the most frustrated person in this entire world right now,you're wrong.What happened to you,does happened to anyone else,might the one you've known,might the one being just a stranger.

For all pretty woman out there,if he decided to not being with you,to not stay together like you wish to,just get yourself off from his life.

Jangan cari.
A big DONT.

Awak cantik,you have bright future,you have family and friends.
Dia hilang awak---dia rugi.BUKAN awak.

Save your pretty self,for a guy who will call you as his wife,not a girlfriend. :)

A.

I never ever expected that i would meet someone that could accept everything bad and good about me.And listen to every fucking down stories about me without judging.And what he said it was just "Be yourself,do what you want,i dont care if you smoke,i dont care if you go lepak with your friends,world is about freedom".And i was suprised cause it was kinda hard to find someone that is opposite sex with me that could accept everything without judging without nagging me to stop.Cause he knew,there will be a time that will come and everything gonna back norm.

"So you bila nak stop?Buang duit la kesihatan lagi" He said calmly.

"Ahahaha i dah agak dah,expected sentence,nanti lah,ada masanya nanti"

"Okay,dont stress out,jangan la pikir pasal kahwin,kahwin awal boring"

"Hahahahhaha"

Two aquarians meet and only them knew what is life is all about.

Lacibai.

3 kotak rokok pun belum dapat cool kan mood kau yang tak tentu hala.Memori macam sial dia datang lepas tu dia gigit kau macam kau tak ada perasaan.They eat you alive.Truth bites.Kau lari terjun bangunan lepas tu mati katak barulah segala galanya boleh kau lupakan.Tapi itu bodoh! Gelak gelak tapi dalam hati terasa sial dan cilaka macam lebih cilaka dari kena rogol.Manusia sekarang mostly berhati kan babi.Bukan hati manusia.

Kasih,

"Aku benci kau.Aku benci dengan perangai kau yang macam babi"

"Weh pergi mati,fuck off!"

"Kau dengan babi memang takde beza.Paham? Takda beza! "

"Pundek.Pantat.Pukimak!"

The next day.

"Nah chocolate untuk you"

"For what?"

And its written there,

Kehadapan boyfriend yang disayangi,sudikah kiranya menerima kembali girlfriendmu yang bipolar dan bongok ini? Saya rindu awak. :(

Kuasa dua,

Si gadis itu sibuk memilih heels Vincci yang sepadan dengan kebayanya.Sambil bertwitter dan bersosial dengan rakan alam maya.Fikirannya memikirkan kebaya colour apa yang harus dibeli sambil bau syampoo saloon yang dikunjungi tadi dicium sedut.Perutnya berbunyi menandakan tiada sebarang nasi disuap lagi ke dalam rongga mulutnya hari ini.Fikirannya sibuk menolak tambah budget bulan hadapan untuk membeli Blackberry bersama si kesayangan.Oh ya,dia baru sahaja melanjutkan pelajaran ke peringkat degree.Her life seems goes well.

Si lelaki keluar mundar mandir membeli rokok,menghirup asap kotor sumbangan celaka celaka urbanisasi dunia.Tangannya sibuk menaip pesanan ringkas untuk mengetahui lokasi si gadis kesayangan berada.Hatinya tidak keruan selagi si gadisnya tidak kembali ke rumah.Sesekali dia cuba mendail number telefon si gadis,tetapi tidak dijawab.Fikiran juga rungsing dari mana dia mahu cekau duit sebanyak itu untuk gembira bersama si gadis.Badannya susut seperti biasa.Penat memikirkan jalan untuk hidup senang.Sesekali dia renung kembali duit yang dihabiskan dilaburkan untuk sesedut ganja bersama rakan taulan.Sepatutnya dia sudah bekerjaya sekarang mencari rezeki sesuap nasi.Ini sem akhir yang dia extend.His life seems miserable,yes.

Mereka masih bersama dan bercinta untuk selamanya.

Suri,

rambutnya masih nipis di tepi,

masih dipakai skinny lusuhnya,

baju merah putih masih setia di pegangan.

"Suri,bangun.You're home already"

Dikejut perempuan bersepatu merah itu.

"Kid..." Suri buka matanya perlahan.Perlahan lahan air matanya mengalir.Diseru lelaki sebelahnya itu.

"Are you okay?Kenapa kau menangis ni?Sudahlah Suri,everything has been a mess.Kau baliklah sekarang"

"Aku tak mahu..Boleh aku pinta sesuatu?"

"What is it?"

"Teman aku untuk malam ini.Untuk yang terakhir kali.Teman aku untuk kelipkelip bintang yang terakhir untuk kita"

Kid diam memandang silau kereta di depan.Suri masih terpaku di sebelah.

"Suri..."

"Apa?"

"Mari sini.."

Lantas tangan suri ditarik..Erat dakapan mereka berdua memanas atmosfera malam yang gelita

"Kau tahu aku tak boleh senyum bila kau tak ada kan?"

END.

Love.

A girl said to me on facebook,"You look so different and way too happy now,Jaja".I didnt replied anything except a smile.A smile that can explained everything.Trust me a year and a half ago,i was so lonely hate to say this but i have to admit it,i was so punk,i do what i want to do.I don say that without a bestfriend/a lover we cant smile everyday,its a big lie if you say that u don give a damn at all about having a boyfriend/a soulmate, peneman awak hari hari.You're a liar if u say no,unless you're gay/lesbian.

In a time of one year and a half,i met many types of guys.You name it.The player,the boring,the cakap lebat tapi tak buat,the gig guy,the terlampau suci,the terlampau baik,the terlampau kaya tapi pendek,the physcho guy,the for u,i will do anything baby and all.Ive been broken by them.Rejected them,and being rejected,met them,chatted with them,and knew all those guys.All those silly matters that i faced with them is really really a good experience for me.But still,none of them can make me smile and laugh.I am the type that will say No as a big No and there is no trial for me when it comes to love.Sebab itu pabila,aku takda perasaan pon dekat sorang dari dorang,i will just simply forget and let them go.Call me an odd,but i am born to passionate lover.Whoever knew me well,will admit this.

After a long year,i met someone on facebook.Thanks to Mark fer this..Yes i knew its a lame to know someone on facebook.Tapi kita tak pernah tahu rancangan Tuhan bukan?I was coming back from one of my friend's open house and he added me up.We chatted and what make me smile is when he is so like me when it comes to a joke.Like seriously,aku tak pernah rasa happy gila bila borak dengan lelaki macam ni.He made me laughed so hard.I cherish every moment we had.Sampai aku rasa,aku macam pernah jumpa dia somewhere but never get a chance to chat with.Yes,aku sampai rasa macamtu.I dont even know why.I felt like i've met him once in a while before.

At one moment after a long weeks,after we chatting up sampai subuh,after he listened to all my problems,i decided to give him a big suprise on his birthday by taking him to Melaka.I rent a car,and drove to his home that i have never been before.Terima kasih kepada rasa hati aku pada hari itu yang terlalu kuat untuk cari dia.I dun even know why i did that.Serious,i just did what i wanted to.Aku tak ada rasa takut kalau aku sesat.I called him and ask for the direction,and yes,atas ketentuan Dia,i safely arrived at his home walaupun aku ada juga tersesat sekejap.I saw him coming towards by seeing over the mirror.I smiled.He gave me a warm hello and he put all his bag in and smile widely towards me.If ever i could stop that moment,i will do.God,aku jumpa orang yang aku tak pernah jumpa tapi i feel so comfortable with him.I am soo happy that day.Gembira yang dah lama aku tak rasa.He drove the car and we chatted like we have being a bestfriend for five years! He did me laughed hell hard.

After a great weekend,all went good,and yeah there are some part that i wanna keep it to myself :)

And yes, we are happy together through thick and thin.Trust me,kadang kadang kita tak perlu tunggu cinta tu datang,kita kena mencari.Please date a man that crazy about you,and you're crazy about him too. :)

If we're not meant to be together one day,these will be one of my great memory ever in my life.Atleast,you've got the feel,you've got the smell,you've got the kimia of love .. ;)

Love,memory,and the other shits.

This is so drugged me.Cant wait to see the fullfilms.That girl is a killersubject to me.

Tiupan,

Seperti angin yang tiba sebelum hujan.Redup.Sayu.Diam.Seperti berseorangan menyedut udara di malam pekat.Sejuk.Hingga ke tulang hitam.Seperti menghirup teh panas di bilik belakang.Seorang.Sunyi.Seperti melangkah ke juram dengan bertikarkan hati yang kelam.Seperti terlelap di lantai malam bertemankan unggas unggas yang berterbangan.Bertemankan kelipan bintang yang mengerti kau dalam diam.Seperti terperangkap dalam lautan dalam.Seperti berbogel di taman larangan walau dilihat dicerca dihina.Kau melimpas dengan senyuman yang amat dalam.Seperti air mata yang mengalirlaju di waktu rintik hujan membunuh setiap satu tebalnya ego kau itu.Kau, masih diam.Diharap angin tidak lupa kewajipannya untuk aku.

---Radit,aku rindu kau.Kau dengar aku kan?